DARKNESS

I’m falling deeper and deeper into the abyss

The light is fading from view, and I cannot see you

I’m scared and cold, and all alone

As colors mix and turn black

No one to shelter me from this agonizing pain

And no one to help me escape

It is dark here with no light to illuminate this space, so where are you?

Where are you when I need you most?

You’re living

Bring me back with you

Save me from this darkness save me from eternal darkness

With eternal death

Eternal death?

Yes that’s the only way to end the pain

This pain, this suffering

This loneliness

But that is all I have,

And all I will ever have

So long as I live, and so long as I’m dead

Take me back to the land were I … belong?

No I belong nowhere I belong in this,

This unearthly abyss

This blackness which shows no change

Red…red?

Why is there red in the blackness

Blood…no not blood, tears

Tears of pain and sorrow

Tears that don’t come from me

Because I am not crying on the outside

Although on the in side I’m suffering

Then whose tears?

Someone from your world,

The world of the living where I no longer belong?

No, no one cared about me there

And no one ever will because I’m dead

I wonder…did I have friends in that world?

No I did not for fear of getting too close to them

So I was alone, all alone

And now my chance is gone for happiness

I will be alone for ever now

All alone in the icy darkness

No matter what, once you enter this world, there is no way back

No way to save your self,

And no way for anyone to save you

So if you end up here in the blackness

You are trapped like me

For eternity

I hate you, no I despise you

You’re taking your life for granted

And after you die that’s it no more time,

For us in the blackness time has stopped

Stopped and will never start again

You live like there will always be a tomorrow,

Another chance to get it right,

But the sad truth is that you run out of tomorrows,

And chances

I learned that the hard way

So now I’m trapped in this darkness

That’s as dark as a million shadows

I want to scream, to cry out for help

But I fear the darkness with suffocate me

I worry that I will never see you again

But I guess that it’s okay

Because here I’m not jugged,

Or ridiculed,

Because I’m alone

I rather get another chance at life

But sadly it’s impossible

Impossible for me to take back my mistakes

If only…if only I hadn’t been so naïve

But no time for regrets

No time to think ‘what if’

Because the monster that resides within me,

The one that resides in all of us

Is trying to break free,

Mine is stronger then anyone’s,

Because of it’s feeding on my decaying and rotting soul

The one that has been dead since I was alive

But now the monster, the demon is growing

Stronger and stronger

Please help,

I can’t let it escape if it dose your world is doomed

So please come and rescue me,

Come and save me,

Protect me like you promised you always would

Or was that just another lie,

Another one to help me sleep at night

Or was it just an empty promise

Like the ones you have always told

But you always told me the truth,

Or was it just me imaging it true

Could it be I’ve always been lied to?

By the one person I trusted?

No…no! I won’t believe it!

I can’t! No…no…

You lied to me,

You made me trust you

Just to be betrayed

Never again, never again will I trust you

No not just you,

I will never trust again

Not again, I can’t take this pain this suffering

Not in the darkness

As my heart turns black like this abyss

And now there’s no turning back

The demon inside me is getting stronger as the night falls

And I weaken

You are the cause for my pain

Did you send me into the darkness?

Were you the cause for a shot of pain in my heart in your world?

As the knife pierced my flesh,

And caused the blood to gush out?

It’s all coming back to me,

You were the one,

The one who killed me!

Why? Why did you kill me?

I trusted you! And you betrayed me!

This isn’t right

I believed in you

And this is how you reward my trust?

By thrusting me into darkness?

Well it’s too late for ‘I take it back’

And now it’s too late for both worlds

For the demon is now free

I woke up in a cold sweat

The dream always ends the same,

With the demon free,

And every one dieing

Now another day in the real world,

This world, the world of the living

So I walk down the stairs,

And out the door

I walk down the street,

And I feel people’s eyes penetrate me,

As they look throw me to the demon that inhabits me

And there eyes turn cold, as cold as ice daggers

And they pierce me causing me to flinch in pain

And so I run, run as far as I can

Away from the cold eyes,

And away from the world

I slow to a stop at a small forest,

Then I walk on

Throw the dense trees that scratch my face

In till I get to a small clearing,

My clearing, the one that no one else visits

So I’m all alone here

Alone, like in the darkness…

So this is where I let the tears fall

I cry and cry, till I am out of tears

I’ll cry in till the sunsets and causes me to return,

Return to the people who want me to die,

I will return to you

You who in my dream killed me,

You who I’m afraid of,

You who has no mercy on my soul

But you…have always kept me safe

But in the dreams…you betray me

So what dose it all mean?

Should I be afraid of you?

Or is it just my imagination

I finally reach home and you’re waiting at the door,

I step inside you close it behind me

You grab my wrist and slap me face

I wince in pain, and look away

My cheeks get hot,

As tears start to flow

I look away, down at the floor

Then you pull me close,

And apologize, but it’s empty

So I run out the door,

And away from you

I try to hid

But you follow

Every where I look there you are

I’m afraid, so very afraid

So I keep running, running until I can’t anymore

Running until I collapse on the ground panting

My face stung,

As I touched the spot were you slapped me

You come behind me,

And I feel cold metal ageneses my neck

In my ear you whisper

“It will all be over soon”

As the metal starts to pull and cut my neck

I stand, and run

I run for my life

With you at my heels

“Get away! Get away!”

I yell it’s no use

You’re trying to take my life

Just as in my dreams

I hold my hand to my throught,

To stop the blood from coming out the slit in my neck

Why do you want to take my life?

Did I cause you pain?

Did I hurt you? Like you’re trying to hurt me?

I can’t remember

If I did I’m sorry

But please don’t send me into the abyss

I can’t go back there alone

Please stab me then yourself with that knife

So I may still be with you

And also so I don’t turn the demon loose

Because I want to be with you,

But that can’t ever happen if it’s freed

Because it will hold your soul within it

You will never get sent to the blackness

If that happens

For you will suffer even worse torture

Pain and regret will eat at your soul until…

Every thing is gone

It will disappear before your eyes

And nothing will come within your sight again

Never ever again

So please end it for both of us

Please I can’t be without you

I think while I’m running for my life away from you

I love you,

And I forgive you

I will and could never hate you

So please help me,

Kill us both

Please

I then trip,

And fall hard,

As you come behind me

You hand me the knife,

And I hold it to my thought

But then I remember…

I remember my dreams,

How they always end

So I thrust the knife into your chest

The blood gushes over it

I finally under stand my dreams…

I was the one to kill you

So please… for give me

I drop the knife, as you wreath in pain,

I drop to my knees and cry

I cry for the both of us

Please I’m so very sorry I repeated,

But it’s too late

It’s now too late for me to apologize,

Because your confolshions have now stopped

But I truly am sorry

So very sorry

As rain starts to fall, it adds to my tears,

I cry as I look at your still body

I’m so sorry,

But it had to be done

So forgive me

I look away, at the dark sky,

The people above are crying for you,

Just like me

If I had anther chance, I wouldn’t have done it,

No I wouldn’t have

But it was me or you,

I think as I walk away,

As I move forward in life

As I move away from your lifeless form

To weeks later,

After your body is beneath the ground,

I still remember your blood

But I believe you understand

And if you don’t please forgive me

But now I am done,

Done dwelling in the past,

And done morning your death

And I’m also done apologizing

I walk every day now

With no relief

No relief from the cold glares

Every one knows I killed you

They have no proof,

But they all see in side me,

And they know I was the cause

I was the one who caused the pain in your heart

But I suffered as well,

When you died a part of me went with you

So don’t think I was selfish

Because I died as well

A part of my soul died when I killed you,

But it can’t be helped,

You’re gone

Gone forever

I can’t stand this pain,

The pain of being away from you

It’s horrible

No it’s worse,

The tears choke me as I cry

It’s hard to breath,

But that’s alright

Because I want to die

I want to die so I don’t have to suffer,

But I know that you don’t want that

Even though I killed you,

You still want me to live

You are the faceless stranger in my dreams,

I know it’s you,

But it’s like looking into nothing

It horrible,

Because I long to see your face just one more time

If I got that chance,

I would tell you how I feel,

I would tell you that I loved you

And hopefully you would love me back

But now it’s too late

To late for my confession

And to late for me to turn this around

But I guess this happened for a resson,

Maybe I’ll meet you in the after life,

Or maybe it was a dream I killed you,

…no that was no dream

The lifelessness of you corpse was real

So was your blood

All of it was real, oh so very real

I’m all alone now,

Because you left me

If you hadn’t tried to kill me

Maybe we could’ve been together

But no,

Life is to cruel

To cruel to show us mercy

To cruel…so that’s why I’m leaving it

I’ll leave it

I’ll leave it with a knife

The same one I used to kill you

I’ll stab my heart and be with you once more

I take the knife out of my treasure box,

And hold it to my chest

As I push it into my flesh,

I feel sick

But I keep going

In till finally…

I’m dead

I’m falling deeper and deeper

But I don’t know where

For I’ve closed my eyes in despair

But then I realize I’m not falling but floating,

As I open my eyes I see white

Where I am I’m not sure

But then I see your face

You smile at me and hold me in your arms,

As I look at your white wings

And now I have them too

And now I know…

I’m not in the darkness,

But I’m now in the light

And I finally relies that in death we find peace

In stead of the fear of life

Now I am with you once more

And I’m happy because of this

And now I realize you were the one,

Who brought me to this place?